It all starts with an unguarded heart…
The Path to Sexual Sin
An 18-year-old guy expressed the struggle many of us experience when he said, “I got saved six months ago, but nobody told my glands!” The struggle of sexual feelings and desires against the restraints of conscience and the teachings of the Bible are as old as the human race. Our passions cry yes when our better moral judgement says no!
Listen to voices in our society and you’ll believe that the passport to happiness is sexual freedom (permissiveness). The bumper sticker “If it feels good, do it!” is for many the moral principle that governs their actions.
The reality is that this sexual “freedom” is a path that leads to untold pain and destruction. On a weekly basis we see people whose lives and relationships have been ravaged, sometimes irreparably, by believing the lies promised by sexual sin.
God designed sex as a gift to be enjoyed in the intimacy of a committed, covenant relationship between a natural man and a natural women in the context of marriage. Any sexual acts outside of that, from a seemingly harmless wondering eye or wayward thought to outright adultery, fall into the category of sexual immorality.
Paul says that we must “flee from sexual immorality, Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Cor 6:18).
So how do we flee from sexual immorality?
In Proverbs 7 we find a teacher speaking to young married men urging them to keep his words because those very words will keep them from moral failure. He tells a story of a young man who failed sexually, and he outlines the steps that led to his fall. His account demonstrates how falling into sexual sin is never a once off catastrophic failure. Rather it is a slow and steady diversion, following a path leading progressively away from sexual purity and towards more and more destructive sexual sin.
This path to sexual immorality begins with
1. An unguarded mind (heart)
“At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment.” Proverbs 7:6-7
The root of “simple” is a word meaning “an open door;” an apt description of the undiscerning, who do not know what to keep in or out of their minds. People whose minds are an open door to everything end up “lack[ing] judgment” and become sitting ducks to the pull of temptation to sexual impurity.
If you want to have good judgment and be able to discern between right and wrong your mind cannot be an open door to all sorts of filth, smut, and sexual permissiveness that TV, the media, and the internet dish up. If you want to have discernment when it comes to evil you need to close the door on evil and impurity and open it to good continually.
The area where we (both men and women) have to be most guarded in our day is pornography. It is readily available, it can be watched in secret, and it is poison. It pollutes the mind and perverts one’s view of sex and relationships.
As a teenager I opened the door of my mind to three hard core pornographic pictures that were passed under the desks from boy to boy in our high school. It took seven seconds for those pictures to get into my mind, and it took seven years for them to be erased.
A word to parents, allowing your children unrestricted internet access is dangerous. Some of the most googled search terms relate to sex. That one little word can open up a world that can destroy them. Your kids need regulation. It’s naïve to assume that they are the exception and will never go there. Do all you can to prevent them from opening the door to pornography.
The first step on the path to sexual impurity is an unguarded mind (heart).
The second step is
2. An unwise decision
Look at the unwise decision of this young man in Proverbs 7:8-9:
“He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.”
An unguarded mind leads to an unwise decision. Had that young man had good judgment, he would have avoided the red light district like the plague. But he was curious, and too naive to know the dangers that lurked there, or the extent of his own weakness, so he walked right into the jaws of temptation.
The descent into sexual immorality almost always begins with unwise decisions that put us in the pathway of temptations too strong for us to handle. The brief phone call, the innocent e-mail, the little note, the sms or watzap message, the birthday card with nice words, the cup of coffee during lunch hour, the peck on the cheek. All are unwise decisions that reveal an unguarded mind.
Wise people avoid being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They are careful not to put themselves in the path of temptation.
The third step on the path to sexual impurity is
3. A powerful appeal
This young man with his unguarded mind, in the wrong place at the wrong time, encounters a woman who appeals to him in the most powerful way. She appeals to him with her looks, her touch, and her words. Her appearance captivating, her touch was arousing, and her words were enticing.
Captivating appearance
Look at v10:
“Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute (seductively, provocatively, sexily) and with crafty intent.”
He may not at that point have been aware of her “crafty intent,” but he was captivated by her looks. She was cute. She caught his eye. It happens often (or at least from time to time) to both genders. Someone catches your eye. Sometimes they are so attractive that they literally take your breath away. It’s not wrong. Visual beauty is powerful. But what do you do with it? Do you look some more? Do you hang around? Do you begin to fantasize about where it could go?
The second thing that made the appeal so powerful was her
Arousing touch
“She took hold of him and kissed him” (v13a). That was enough to set his pulse racing. Maybe that’s where the intangible thing we call “chemistry” began. When attraction and attention and affection combine, even in small quantities, chemistry happens. Sometimes it is subconscious, but it is real.
What do you do if you are a married person and this happens with someone who is not your spouse, or if you are single and happens between you and a married person? Walk away! Run away! If you keep going the chemistry will increase until it controls you like too much alcohol or a drug.
Beware of the lingering touch—the hug that is too low or too long or too tight, the kiss that is more than a peck on the cheek, hands that go slightly over the line of propriety.
Her third tactic involved
Enticing Words (v13b-20)
“With a brazen face she said…”
First there was a bit of religious talk. She said (v14), “I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows.” According the law of fellowship offerings (Leviticus 7:11-18), the meat left over after the sacrifice was to be eaten before the end of the day. She appears very religious in making the invitation that he join her because she had made her offering and is bringing home the meat that must be eaten . . . by candle light, of course, and who better than with him!
Religious talk is often mixed in to make sin seem less sinful. Spiritual language and activities can be a cover-up. God-talk can get a person to lower their guard and think what’s not okay must be okay. When you throw God into the mix it almost seems as though it would be wrong not to do it!
The religious talk is followed by flattery designed to appeal to the man’s ego and break down his defences. “So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you!” (v15). “Wow! Doesn’t it feel good to be desired! I’m just what she (he) wants. No one else could be so right. I’m the only one.”
Her flattery is followed by the creation of a fantasy, a dream of sexual paradise (vv16-18) “I have covered my bed with coloured linens from
Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!” It must have sounded too good to be true. It appealed to his inward lusts.
And then, to remove his fear of getting caught, she followed her fantasy with a word of reassurance (vv19-20):
“My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.”
Part of the power of temptation is the belief that you will not be caught; the assurance that you will get away with it. Reassurance such as: “It’s completely private.” “No one will ever know.” “I promise not to tell.” “I’ve got condoms.” “I’m on the pill.” “I love you.” “We’re going to get married.”
This young man with his unguarded mind, in the wrong place at the wrong time, encountered a woman who appealed to him in the most powerful way. She appealed to him with her appearance, her touch, and her words. Her appearance was captivating, her touch was arousing, and her words were enticing.
That young man was on the path to sexual impurity (sin). Some of you have been on that path. You know exactly what I am talking about. Others may be on that path now. There’s been contact. There’s connection. There’s chemistry. The appeal is so powerful. What will you do? What choice will you make? Will you run, or will you take the next step along that path?
The fourth step on the path to sexual impurity is
4. A fatal choice
Look at Proverbs 7:21-23 —
With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.”
The words “all at once” at the beginning of v22 indicate a sudden yielding after indecision. After a brief struggle, her persuasive words win over his flabby conscience and his weak will, and a fatal choice is suddenly made. He follows her, unaware of the horrendous and far-reaching consequences of his action — “little knowing it will cost him his life” (v23).
Conclusion
My friends, the path to sexual immorality is clear. It begins with an unguarded mind. With an unguarded mind it is easy to make unwise decisions that put you in the position of being subjected to the powerful appeal of sexual temptation. It is then too easy to respond by making a fatal choice – little knowing that it will cost you your life!
