I was sceptical at first. Although I didn’t say it, I was thinking things like: “you haven’t given yourselves enough time to fall pregnant before considering adoption,” “don’t rush into it,” “have you tried this or that procedure?”, “it’s scary adopting, you don’t know what you’ll get,” “it’s a life time commitment.”
We were sitting opposite each other at her place of work as she shared her experience of trying to fall pregnant in the few years she and her husband had been married. She had just ordered a book called “Adopted for Life” which had been an inspiration to her brother on the adoption of his second child. She shared some of the thinking in this book by Dr Russell Moore. My scepticism gradually moved to intrigue. I don’t remember ever hearing “adoption” considered in the way Dr Moore wrote about it.
“Adoption is about an entire culture within our churches, a culture that sees adoption as part of our Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself.” Adopted for Life, Dr Russell Moore
A few days later when Dr Moore’s book arrived, my friend loaned me her copy. As I read the opening chapter to Leigh we were both moved to tears.
Leigh and I invited a few families in our church who in recent years had chosen the adoption route to our home for Sunday lunch. As they shared their personal journey with adoption my admiration for each person’s compassion and love for their children grew. Each one’s story was different and very personal. Let me introduce them to you.
Having a mother who worked at Princess Alice Adoption Home for 26 years, Lucille Gerry has been exposed to abandoned children for much of her life. As children, she and her sister, Carol-Anne (who adopted 4 children of her own), helped at Princess Alice, feeding and playing with the babies. Working at Starfish also made Lucille very aware of the vast numbers of children without parents and saw many 2 year olds looking after babies. When Lucille and Billy married, they chose to adopt rather than have their own children. Both their daughters, Sarah, now aged 4, and Hannah, 2, were abandoned at birth. Lucille is relieved that both girls have similar backgrounds so that there is no comparison or feelings of inferiority because one may have had a “better” start to her life. The Gerry’s got Sarah from Baby Haven and Hannah through a Roodepoort Child Welfare social worker.
Ashlea and Ralph Martin always felt that adoption was a good idea so decided to have one biological child and then adopt. But while Ashlea was helping at Thula Baba, then one of Rosebank’s Rays of Hope projects, she met and fell in love with Christi who was 3 weeks old at the time. When Christi was 3 years old, Ashlea met Thuli who was from Tsolofelo Baby Sanctuary. Once again, Ashlea fell in love with Thuli who was so tiny and very under developed. Both Ashlea and Ralph are career musicians and are thrilled that both girls share their love of music and are themselves very musical.
In Gael and George Gilchrist’s situation, God used infertility to get their attention. As Gael said “Adoption came from the heart of God. He gently spoke the possibility into our hearts and slowly kindled an excitement and anticipation as the idea became a reality.” Gael has made available an honest and beautifully written account of their movement from believing they would have their own biological children to embracing the idea that God puts families together in many different ways. As Gael so eloquently told us “All hardship can draw us to God or alienate us further…the choice is ours. We decided to draw nearer.” If you would like to read Gael’s full story, just email her at gaelgilchrist1@gmail.com and request a copy.
Gael and George were thoroughly screened and eventually accepted to be adoptive parents. Unlike the other stories of adoption, Joshua was chosen for them; they did not choose him. But they loved him from the moment they met him in February 2012. He was 6 months old at the time and had spent his entire life at Impilo.
Charles and Louise Pitt have two children, Jenna (14) and Matthew (12). About 6 years ago, Charles and subsequently Jenna, who was 8 at the time, began thinking that adoption might be a possibility for their family. Louise was terrified. They as a family then became involved in Hotel Hope, a home dedicated to rescuing abandoned children and AIDS orphans. See their website www.hotelhope.com. When they met Phindle who is now 3, she chose the Pitts to be her “forever family”. Although they’re only in the beginning stages of the adoption process, Phindle, is well and truly part of the family.